Tuesday, November 15, 2005

All Zach Braff's hard work, undone so quickly...

This is hilarious:

Get a Load of This! New Jersey Seeks New Slogan
Residents, Columnists, Comedians, Talk-Show Hosts Offer Suggestions
ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. (Nov. 14) - Make us a slogan we can't refuse, the state of New Jersey said. We got your slogan right here, the people replied.

People have submitted serious -- and not-so-serious -- suggestions for a New Jersey state slogan.

A push to come up with a new slogan for the Garden State has become an excuse to crack New Jersey jokes. Among the not so-serious entries:

"New Jersey: You Got a Problem With That?"

"NJ: How You Doin'?!"

And "Most of Our Elected Officials Have Not Been Indicted."

The search yielded nearly 6,200 possibilities in all, many of them attempts to sum up the land of Bruce Springsteen, "The Sopranos" and smelly interstates in one pithy phrase. The deadline for submissions was Monday.

Well on this blog, the deadline hasn't passed. Anybody that's got another suggestion - feel free to post it in the comments section! Let's have some fun!

(Brian, don't beat me up for making fun of your state) ;-)

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Deconstructing "Lost"

Along with many others, I have become obsessed with "Lost" , Wednesday, 9 p.m. EST on ABC. This show, now in its second season, is very good at starting storylines and then drawing them out for a long long time. So in thinking about the show, and all the mysteries still unsolved, here's a list of things that we still need to learn on "Lost". If you're not completely caught up - maybe you shouldn't read it:

P.S. - All terminology is taken from the fine recaps over at televisionwithoutpity.com (Don't sue me).

1. What is Lostzilla? (The monster that the Lostaways kept seeing in season 1)

2. Why are there polar bears on a tropical island?

3. How can Locke walk again?

4. Is Walt somehow controlling happenings on the island?

5. Why did the Others take Walt?

6. Is Jack's father really dead?

7. What purpose is the hatch serving?

8. What mysterious illness wiped out Rousseau's group?

9. What happened to Rousseau's baby?

10. What is the Dharma Initiative?

11. What's the deal with the guy who owns it?

12. Is Claire's baby cursed?

13. Are Hurley's lotto numbers really cursed?

14. Who are the Others?

15. How did they get to the island?

16. Is Shannon dead?

17. Is Sawyer?

18. Is that other woman who disappeared in last night's episode?

19. Why is Ana Lucia such a bitch?

20. Is this island real?

21. Why is there a pirate ship marrooned on the island?

22. Where did Desmond go?

23. What did his hatch partner die of?

24. What happens if you don't input the numbers and hit "execute"?

25. Will Jack and Kate ever get it on?

26. Will Charlie and Claire?

27. Will Hurley lose all the weight eating fish and...fish?

I'm sure we'll have all of the answers to these very pressing questions somewhere in season ten. Happy viewing everybody!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Gripe of the Day: Cell Phones on the Sidewalk - Just Say No!

Today's blog post comes from not me, but from another friend of mine who's had it with cell phones on the sidewalk. Never mind trying to drive with them, people can't even walk with them. Here it is:

We used to say of particularly clumsy and graceless souls, "He can't
walk and chew gum at the same time." Fine, but how about walking and
using the cell phone at the same time? Let's be explicit about the

1. Do not get so involved with your conversation that your body
wanders instead of your mind and you weave from side to side on the

2. Even if you have discovered that the man of your dreams went home
at 1:30 in the morning with a shot girl on West Broadway, do not throw
your arm dramatically as far to the left (or right) as it will go.

3. Do not jerk yourself to the left or right on the sidewalk as you
reach into pocket or bag to retrieve a ringing phone.

4. Do not come to an abrupt and complete stop in the middle of the
sidewalk in order to dial a number. Your jacket, fashionable as it no
doubt is, is adorned neither with brake lights nor directional

I do not expect my fellow citizens to cure cancer or to bring peace to
the world or to solve the intractable tension between full employment
and inflation, but is "straight line, steady pace" too much to ask?

Monday, November 07, 2005

Weekend in Boston

I spent some time being a Bostonian this weekend - and felt really lucky to be up there on a weekend when it was fall enough that all of the leaves were turning colors and falling, but warm enough that I could spend lots of time outside, walking around Harvard Yard and down by the Charles River without freezing to death.

The funny thing about Boston is that being there makes me want to be a student again. This is partially due to it housing Emerson College, which happens to have a fantastic MFA program for Creative Writing - but there's also just something about being around Harvard, deep in Cambridge when its fall - it does seem like the the perfect place to be studying and learning and researching. And the coffee shops, bookstores and general appeal of the city only adds to the feeling.

Besides Harvard I wandered around Boston Common a bit, and got to do brunch near Newbury Street. Thanks again to Drapo, Chris and Seth for putting me up, and to Drapo for trailing me around Boston. Spending time in New England in the fall is always totally worth it.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Inside the Big Migraine Bubble

As some of you already know, I'm prone to getting migraines, long hard completely debilitating headaches. Beth by far has seen the most of it, I've been laid up more than once on her couch all day. And Kel and Matt, you've seen some pretty bad ones too. Since I've been getting more headaches than usual lately, I've been doing a lot of research to learn more about triggers, prevention and remedies to help me in my quest to never have one of these headaches again. HA. Now medical science is happy to provide a list of "possible triggers" that you should learn to avoid if you are prone to migraines. The problem is that it included just about everything in the free world.

For those of you who have never had a migraine, here's what it feels like. Imagine the first hour of a hangover. The pounding headache, the dehydration, the nausea, the blurred vision. The feeling that you are going to die. Now imagine having that for 12-18 hours straight. That's a migraine.

So here's what I've found in searching for lists of triggers:

Avoid certain foods including: cheese, beer, wine, pickeled herring, chicken liver, yeast, coffee, beans, citrus fruits, bananas, eggs, spinach and tomatoes. Okay - so what is there left to eat? Geez.

Avoid chocolate. So I can't drink alcohol or have chocolate? Talk about giving up all your vices...

Migraines can be caused by caffeine withdrawal. That's great - so I could try to do something good for myself by cutting down my caffeine intake - and I'll be rewarded with a big whopping headache. That's great.

Avoid nitrates. Okay here's more foods we can't have. Hot dogs and other cured meats like bacon, ham and salami contain nitrates. Beets, lettuce, celery, spinach, broccoli, cauliflower and potatoes contribute the largest portion of nitrate to our daily diet.

Avoid aspartame if you already have a headache. f you already have a headache, and if you consume anything containing aspartame (artificial sweeteners like Sugar Free, Diet Coke, Equal), you might get a migraine. Swell.

Just in case you thought we could eat out - MSG is also a migraine trigger. this has been linked to the frequent use of MSG in some Asian foods. There are reports of flushing, tingling, dizziness and headache. It is also generally found in frozen foods, canned soups, salad dressings, processed meats, sauces and snack foods. Awesome, more food I need to avoid.

Skipping meals - this is actually a big one for me. Even though there aren't any foods I can eat, if I skip a meal - even have one a few hours late, I get a migraine.

Now migraines aren't only triggered by food. Here's a list of other extracurricular crap that may set me off:

Light - Strong or glaring light. Flickering lights from TV or computer screen, strobe or laser lights, or reflections. So according to this, working, writing, watching TV or clubbing can set me off.

Smells/Odors - Intense, specific food odors, cigarette or other smoke, perfumes, cleaning products. Okay - avoid people cooking, smoking, wearing perfume and cleaning. And I shouldn't do any of those things myself. Sure!

Stress - Migraine attacks often occur after stress - especially on weekends and holidays. Many people mistake these as tension headaches. Yeah, cause stress is something we're all good at eliminating.

Weather changes - High humidity, atmospheric pressure changes, rapid temperature fluctuations, and exposure to extreme heat or cold may bring on migraine attacks. Many people mistake these for "sinus headaches. Okay, don't go outside when its hot, don't hike in the mountains, don't fly from NY to Florida in the winter, and don't climb Everest or spend any time in the Mojave desert. Got it.

So there you have it folks. To avoid future migraines I should basically isolate myself in the dark, in an odorless room, and be fed intravenously. Sounds great!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Halloween baby

Halloween felt like it had its own season this year - like Christmas, or the way there's 40 days of Lent leading up to Easter. I did more Halloweeny things this year than I used to when I was a kid - part of which was due to Greg being in town and never having been to the parade or huge Halloween parties, and part of it being that everyone in the free world called me up and said they had a great place for me to go on Halloween.

Picture above is Michelle and I at Pat, Eric and Joe's Annual Halloween bash. The invitation on Eric's blog said "Wear a costume, or be mercilessly mocked", and everyone came through in fine style. Props to Roy for donning not one but TWO costumes - one unbelievably complicated and one just damn funny. (Pics to follow).

After Pat's we headed for Mars 2112 for a big obnioxious costume party. I was Dorothy, as you all see. Kim was a sexy candy striper, Matt was a priest, Roy, a pimp, Greg, Napoleon Dynamite, Ryan was a rabbi, Mike and Mariano were jedis, and Kelly was a cheerleader. We danced the night away there, checking out everyone else's costumes. we found a guy dressed like Uncle Rico and Greg took a picture with him. My favorite costume was this guy who was dressed as a gingerbread man, in a huge Gumby like costume. He was dancing his head off - made which made the costume even funnier.

Shari, sorry I missed your party - but I was Halloweened out. Maybe next year!